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Life Story Work involves helping children compile a personal narrative using tools such as books, photos, letters, and memorabilia. It is a dynamic and ongoing process that evolves as the child grows and gains new insights.

For adopted children, especially those who have experienced trauma, separation, loss and multiple moves, understanding their past can be complex and fragmented. Life Story Work helps:

• Clarify Identity: Knowing where they come from helps children understand who they are.
• Process Trauma: Addressing and integrating past traumatic events into their story helps in emotional healing.
• Enhance Attachment: Building a coherent narrative strengthens the bond between the child and their adoptive family.
• Build Self-Esteem: Acknowledging their resilience and the positive aspects of their history fosters a positive self-image.

Life story book

Whilst every adopted child will have a Life Story book created by their social worker, there is nothing stopping you from creating your own to fit your child’s current development stage or need. A life story book can contain photos, drawings, and text that tells the child’s life story. Ensure that the material is arranged chronologically to provide a clear timeline, use age-appropriate language and include all parts of their story; acknowledge the good and more difficult parts of their story. It’s important to be honest while being sensitive to the child’s emotions.

Life Story Boxes

A life story box is a physical container holding significant objects from the child’s past, such as toys, clothes, and letters. This tangible approach can be comforting and help children connect with their history on a sensory level.

Stories/films

Using books/films is a great way to open up discussions about adoption and normalise different kinds of families. There are a range of books available to help aid this such as:

• The Family Book, Todd Parr
• Finding a Family for Tommy, Rebecca Daniel
• All About Families, Felicity Brooks
• The Great Big Book of Families, Mary Hoffman
• The Invisible String, Patrice Karst
• Delly Duck, Holly Marlow
• The Family Fairies, Rosemary Lucas
• The Blanket Bears, Samuel Langley-Swain
• Eddy finds a family, Sarah McGeough and Stephanie Lidbetter

Timeline

Ask the child to draw your house and everyone in it – don’t forget any animals or key objects! Then ask the child to draw their foster carer's house with a road or line connecting it. Talk about who was there and capture what they say. Then ask if the child knows where they were before that and draw every home until you reach birth. Then drive a toy car from the hospital to the various houses until they get back to your home “Ah, back home safe and warm”. Remember to make sure there is no room on the road for any more houses to reinforce that the child will remain with you.

Emotional Sensitivity

Life Story Work can bring up difficult emotions and memories. It’s important to proceed at the child’s pace and provide support through the process. Try not to get thrown off by tricky questions but just say “Great question, let's write it down and I will find out for you/let’s look at your book together”.

Accuracy and Honesty

While it’s essential to be honest, it’s also important to present information in a way that’s appropriate for the child’s developmental stage. Revisiting the story as the child grows allows for more complex details to be included over time.

Professional Guidance

Working with therapists or trained professionals can provide additional support and ensure that the life story work is conducted in a therapeutic manner. At Buckinghamshire, we offer monthly consultations with a therapeutic life story worker which our adopters, or those living in our area, can access. Please contact the Post Adoption Team at [email protected] if you have any questions about this.

In summary, Life Story Work is a powerful tool in helping adopted children understand their past, heal from trauma, and build a cohesive and positive identity. Through personalised narratives, whether through books, or physical objects, children can integrate their experiences into a story that supports their emotional well-being and strengthens their relationships with their adoptive families. It’s a journey of understanding, healing, and ultimately, empowerment.