Blogs Adoption

We host online information events on the first Tuesday of each month for anyone interested in adopting to attend. Found out about the support available before, during and after you adopt, and ask any questions you may have.

We are seeking people from all kinds of backgrounds to come forward to care for children who need a loving and safe home.

You can build a family through adoption, no matter what your sexual orientation, relationship status, faith or ethnicity.

As long as you have a spare room and the ability to provide a safe and caring environment then we welcome your interest in adopting.

If you are thinking about adopting but worried you might be overwhelmed, be assured we have a range of support available before, during and after you adopt.

Emma and Graham adopted their son over nine years ago. We asked them about the adoption process, the support they've received for his complex additional needs and the emotional journey...

Graham and I decided to start exploring adoption around 2011. We could not conceive naturally and were not interested in IVF or surrogacy. I already had a birth daughter, we were a happy family of three, but we both felt we wanted to extend our family. I telephoned the Bucks Adoption team to express our interest and we've not looked back!

From the beginning, things fell into place and felt right. An information meeting at the start of the process instilled excitement for the journey ahead. We knew we had plenty more love to give, and as our social worker assessed us, our determination to make adoption work for us grew. We networked with different adoptive families and found ourselves in awe of them, wishing we could be like them.

There were times we felt like the process was intrusive and overwhelming. We now understand this is because children seeking their forever families must be kept safe and matched to a well-suited family to avoid the risk of a placement breaking down. Although sometimes emotional and upsetting, understanding our past was vital in ensuring we were ready to support a child with adverse childhood experiences. As our social worker came to know us, she matched us to a little boy who was so perfect that we believe we could not have biologically made a more perfect child. The hard work was completely worthwhile.

We remember walking into the living room of the foster carer’s home where he was cruising around the furniture. He turned to look at us and then carried on with what he was doing. We tried to ‘play it cool’ but completely failed. We still love seeing the photo we took of the day my birth daughter met him during Introductions. He has taught us so much as individuals and as a family.

Graham and I still recall songs on the radio during our journey to collect him and bring him home. We were very nervous. Putting him into our car and waving goodbye to the foster carers was heart breaking. He had been living with them for a little over a year. We did not feel like particularly good people. However, as soon as we parked in our driveway and saw our daughter waiting at the window, we felt calm and happy. Over the weeks, family members and friends met our son - everyone fell in love with him. He was so smiley and still is.

Our son has complex additional needs. Some of these are SEN-based. He has ADHD and is deaf. Some of his needs result from being adopted - he has encountered neglect and trauma. He requires full-time additional support in school

At times, we have had to seek help and request Assessments of Needs when we were struggling to support our son in the right way. However, this is our life and we wouldn’t change it. The research, courses we have attended, Theraplay, and support we have received have helped us to grow. Life story work has also been a vital part of our journey. The need to accept and embrace a birth family and maintain appropriate forms of contact cannot be underestimated.

We would thoroughly recommend adoption to anyone who might be considering it. We know things now that we definitely would not know if it were not for our son. We have no doubt there is still more to learn. We have good days and not-so-good days due to his complex additional needs but along with our daughter, we have embraced the craziness and grown together in the same way any other family would.

Contact us to find out more about adoption or give our adoption readiness checker a try to:

• explore top topics
• answer quick questions to learn more about adopting children with Buckinghamshire
• create your personalised next steps plan