Vicki - fostering teens
Looking after a teen can make a huge difference to their future. We spoke to Vicki about caring for this age group...
My name's Vicki and I've been a foster carer for just over 25 years.
My next-door neighbour fostered. I spoke to my neighbour about it and watched all her foster children from my window. My own house was getting emptier as my children were growing up. And I thought, yeah, I'm going to do that - I’m going to be a foster carer.
I foster teenagers, particularly girls. I'm pensioner-age now, but I'm young at heart. I get on with teenagers, I can see where they're coming from. I've also got a lot of patience. You can explain things to teenagers, and tell them the truth.
Over the years, more than a hundred young people have stayed with me. A lot of my teenagers are pretty tough kids doing their own thing. It's still hard for them, being away from their parents. I just feel that I can help.
When a young person first arrives, they're all over the place. I take it day by day, teaching them independence and self-respect. I tell the young people to respect their bodies.
As a foster carer, you are always learning. Foster kids don't behave like your own children, so you have to find a different way. Let the young people see reason. It's not just about you teaching them, it's about them teaching you too. It works both ways.
These young people can feel like they don't belong anywhere. I'm still in touch with some of them. They pop around sometimes or perhaps I don't hear from them for a couple of years and then get a text, which is lovely. I'm not perfect, but I care - I want them to do well even if I never see them again.
It's rewarding when my teenagers do well - it makes me smile to watch them grow into young adults and have control of their lives. Hopefully, when the young people leave, they know that they are strong and can do anything they want. I try to teach them that they've got to get out there and make it happen. No one going to hand it to you on a plate!
For people thinking about fostering - make sure you really look into it. Talk to the Fostering team, they're helpful. Get in touch with other foster carers, ask lots of questions and listen to the answers.
Could you foster? Try our readiness checker here: https://fostering.buckinghamshire.gov.uk/