Blogs Fostering

"I came into care when I was around 12 years old. I went straight to my foster home and I was very scared. I remember that clearly. With all the emotions that I was experiencing and everything that was happening, I refused to eat for the first three days.

I stayed in the same fostering household, which was lucky. My foster carer was supportive and helped me with my eating. She cared for me like I was one of her own and became my best friend. We were inseparable - we went everywhere together.

Learning to be independent is essential for all care leavers. My foster carer taught me how to look after myself and I am so grateful for that. By 15, I had learnt to do a lot more for myself including my laundry and cleaning my room.

My foster journey hasn't been easy. I have felt that a lot of decisions were made for me without people asking how I might feel. Life has ups and downs for everyone, but foster carers need to take children's mental health seriously. Let children and young people know that they are listened to and heard. It's important for them to feel a part of your lives and that they are cared for.

Childhood trauma is a massive issue for children in care and care leavers. The death rate among us is five times higher than in the general population. So please be easy with us - we are like a delicate flower and need help to grow.

Fostering is important to me - it made me feel like I was part of a family. Fostering is more than just a job. As foster carers, you have the chance to be a shining light in a child's life after they've been through dark times. You can add positivity to their days. You can provide a safe, stable environment, and help us feel that we have a place to call home and are part of a family.

Drawing from my experience in care, I have some advice and top tips for foster carers:

• Teach children independence in creative ways.
• Empower children to try their best and acknowledge their efforts.
• Make a safe space for the child, where they can talk about anything including their emotions and mental health.
• Be accepting - any child can come into your care. They can be black, Asian, gay or transgender. It doesn't matter - support and accept them.
• Accept help - this is so important. There are plenty of support and programs available for foster carers. Ask for help, don't wait.
• If something isn't being done for a child, ensure it is brought up in meetings.
• Encourage a child to try new experiences, including work experience. It can be hard for care leavers to find jobs, but support is available to us, such as internships and support with university. Access to education is key for us so try to keep on top of this.
• Encourage children and young people to play and exercise. Being active benefits mental health and well-being.

Above all, please realise that children who come into your care need you."