Blogs Fostering

Can you tell us a bit about your family, how long you have fostered and why you decided to foster?

I have been fostering for just over 3 years and I am a short term foster carer which means having a child placed with you for anything from two weeks to two years. I have 2 adult sons who live in London and Devon.
I have always been interested in fostering but the timing never seemed to be right to take that first step. I became disillusioned with my job which made me consider what I wanted to do next; I decided that this was the right time to find out if fostering was for me. After I had attended a fostering information evening, I made the decision to start the assessment process. For me, the biggest reason for fostering is to be able to support children during a difficult time in their lives, to provide stability in a safe, caring home environment.

What was the biggest surprise for you when you first started to foster?

The biggest surprise for me since starting to foster is how resilient the children have been and how rewarding it is to see them settle in and begin to flourish despite ongoing challenges and disappointments.

As a single foster carer, how do you juggle your own life with fostering?

As a single carer it can be difficult to manage a social life when I have a foster child living with me. I have very good friends who are supportive of me fostering and have shared many happy times with the children. It can be very tiring doing everything myself, but I have made use of the respite available to all carers, when I have felt the need to recharge my batteries. It is probably more important, as a single carer, to have a good support network of family and friends around you.

Can you tell us what you think makes a good foster carer and what qualities you need to foster?

You will need to be well organised to be a foster carer as there are lots of meetings to attend, family time for the children and daily logs and reports to be written. It can be a bit daunting at first, but I soon got into the swing of things. You also need to be flexible, as plans can change suddenly and quite dramatically. Be prepared to have difficult conversations, which could be with a birth parent, social worker, school, medical professional, or the child themselves.
You will need to be an advocate for the child, and they need to know that you will be their voice, making sure that their views are considered. Being reliable and supportive is also very important as many of the children have been badly let down in their past. A good sense of humour also helps, along with lots of energy!

What has been your proudest moment since you started fostering?

The proudest moment for me was at a Life Appreciation Day, where potential adopters for the siblings that I had looked after for nearly two years were able to meet with the professionals who had worked with the children and also meet a couple of my friends. Photographs of the girls were up on the walls and everyone spoke so positively about them. I was bursting with pride, but I was also feeling a little emotional, as I knew that they could be moving on soon. The girls went on to be adopted and they are very much loved and thriving with their new parents. It was the perfect outcome for them both.

Can you tell us a bit about the support and training you have had as a foster carer?

As a foster carer you never stop learning from your experiences with the children. The Fostering team provide a varied and informative training programme that can help prepare you for issues that you may come across whilst fostering. These training sessions are held throughout the county and at different times, so that everyone can access them. There are also regular foster carer support groups, where you can meet other carers to chat informally over a cup of coffee. There is a lot of fostering experience within these groups and I have tapped into that experience when I have needed some guidance.
Once you are approved at panel, you will be allocated a supervising social worker, who is there to guide and support you, as well as assess your progress once you have a foster child staying with you. I feel very supported by my supervising social worker, and we have a very open and honest relationship. If I have an issue, I know that she will work with me to reach a positive outcome.

Can you tell us a little about the assessment process and how you found this?

The assessment process is very thorough and can sometimes feel a bit intrusive, but it is an important process. I found it made me reflect on my own childhood and reminded me of the challenges that face parents and carers. Going through this process made me more determined that fostering was something that I really wanted to do. The ‘Skills to Foster’ training is excellent and thought-provoking. When I had completed it, I felt ready to start my fostering journey.

What advice would you have for anyone considering fostering?

My advice to someone considering fostering would be to firstly attend an information evening and if you think it could be for you, ask the questions that may be concerning you, when you receive a follow up call from a team member. Fostering can be challenging, but it is also very rewarding to care for a child and then see them develop and be ready to move on to the next chapter in their lives, with confidence and excitement.

Find out more

If you’d like to chat with one of our foster carers on a one-to-one basis to hear what it’s really like to Foster with Bucks then please get in touch with us today by emailing [email protected].
We also host monthly virtual information events and welcome anyone interested in learning more about the application process in a relaxed and comfortable online environment. Email us to book your place at [email protected].